Have you ever met someone who has had to reinvent themselves? Well you have now!  Career-wise, that is.  Some years ago, I changed directions from administration and classroom teaching to the then relatively new field of Life Coaching. 

On reflection, it has been a great change.  Yes, the money is irregular, the work load can be unpredictable, but the personal development is enormous. The satisfaction of seeing real change and growth in clients thrills me, no matter how often I see it. 

Last year I spent many hours working with women who had an alcohol addiction.  Their resolve to change their circumstances by getting off the 'nail of addiction' was high and for many it was a massive struggle to reconnect with life honestly once more after years of drinking.  Regret, guilt, shame and embarrassment were common emotions they identified. Rebuilding the damaged areas of their lives was a huge assignment for  them, and to their credit, most persisted. It was very humbling to watch their struggles, and such a thrill to see victories when they occurred. 

Clearly, coaching has its rewards for me.  However, what I have found personally humbling has been the way my own values and outlook on life have been tested since I have engaged in this type of work.  Challenges abound and they don't go away if you ignore them.  I have found as a coach, I have to work on myself constantly. Sure, there is growth in knowledge, skills and experience, but with that comes personal testing as well.

I am fortunate to have my husband, Edward, around to chew the fat with. We often give each other permission to ask the tough questions when one of us is stuck on something.  A  lot of time is spent researching, reading and discussing issues when we are writing courses and we know lots of theory. Nevertheless, shifting the theory to practice can be as hard for us as for our clients sometimes.

We had been discussing a personal issue that had been simmering for some time.  It had been consuming us more than was seemly for coaches who 'reframe', use CBT, positive thinking  and so on!  Although it involved one area of our lives,  it seemed to have taken over, spreading negative energy around until we felt heavy and low in spirit.  

Suddenly there was a flash of insight.  We started examining  our different life areas, or accounts, and gave them a rating out of ten. All but one were going really well! Yet what was commanding so much attention? What were we focussing on? The one that wasn't going well!

We were seeing the one black spot on an otherwise white page and it had blinded us to seeing anything else. Unwittingly, we were giving the black spot power it should never have received. Zap! Humble pie time again! Whoever was playing 'catch the coach out' had done it again!  However, as soon as we could observe what was happening, the black spot lost its power and the white page became dominant.  Perspective... detachment... insight...call it what you like. We had the measure of that black spot at last!

It seems we all can be drawn to the negative so easily.  What comments do we remember people making about us? Chances are they have said plenty of positive things, but we remember the negative one.  If we are praised for something, we often say, 'Thanks, but I should have ....' and hone in on the black spot as if we were on auto-pilot. 

This week I am going to use Shakespeare's line to help me and when that black spot appears, I will say, 'Out, out damned (black) spot!  Hopefully I will be more successful than Lady Macbeth!